There are devils out there trying to test my resolve almost every time I decide on something life-altering.
In the period from Christmas till the first few days of the new year I went overboard letting my hair down and enjoying the gastronomical delights of the season. I missed a few morning runs too.
There are those fruits of various hues, sizes and tastes, available during this season. I buy them in plenty and have my fill after meals. There is materialism of the food kind – buying, stocking and consuming them – much more than it is helpful or needed.
During the last fortnight, I have put on about 4 kg and running beyond the 10 mile mark has not happened during this period.
For me, not exercising the muscles enough leads to immediate weight increase and many discomforts. I reckon I face the same consequences when I do not exercise other muscles – idea muscles, work muscles, networking muscles….. Atrophy at varying degrees would set in then.
It is very easy to let my guard down in measures so small, that I hardly notice. A few pieces of cakes, doing justice to tasty meals, choice of fruits and some beer look innocent enough and is considered normal during the festive season. Sluggishness is the price I pay for several days after that. Getting back to my earlier rhythm and level of fitness is going to take me time and added efforts. If I move helplessly in that current, I can stagnate or worse, regress from this space of inactivity.
The innocuous looking small indulgences have a way of stringing together to pervade seemingly unrelated areas. It is also true that empowering actions build a momentum of their own.
The weight of guilt for having let myself down, makes my goals seem even more distant.
Activities in seemingly unconnected areas have a bearing on my life’s goals. Overeating or drinking make me feel unfit and overweight. These slow me down and limit the distances I run. Which in turn make me feel guilty and upset. The lethargy and listless feeling creep into what I do at office. And it goes on.
How do I stay the course, being conscious not to falter along the road, all because of innocent looking baits? Like a sentry guarding a bridge all alone, I remember it is easy to come and go, the hard thing is to stay.
Letting my guard down after firming up my goals has happened to me before. Last year, we set stiff targets for our company to achieve by the end of the year. Then I relaxed a bit knowing we had months ahead of us. Then, all of a sudden December was right on my face. At that point of time, we had quite a distance to travel towards the goals.
Like a poor manager who delegates and then abdicates, my goals were to an extent orphans in the whimsical sway of an uncertain future on automation.
Goals imply achievements at a time in the future. And that is a slippery illusion because it can lull me to sleep and make me believe it is a laborious process with step by step processes. I understand, every goal has to be lived in the present. To meet my goals, being with it every day, as a constant presence is critical.
Outcomes unravel as conceived, for those who tune into those outcomes rather than think through the outcomes. Which means that arriving at goals happen in absolute faith, as if it is already unraveling. So, the line between the present and future is really blurred.
Some thinkers opine that the concept of time is created for our convenience. Deepak Chopra suggests: “In fact, the past, present and future exist simultaneously, side by side, in a field of endless possibilities. The experience of linear time is the way in which nature protects us from experiencing everything at the same time. But that is what actually happens.’
According to Einstein, ‘Space and time are modes in which we think, not conditions in which we live.’
After taking a look at my recent post – New Year Resolutions that Do not Suck – one of my mentors told me that my goals were mostly about doing and it did not have the feel of well-formed-ness. And, it lacked the necessary emotion to fuel my desires.
My initial reaction was to reject the diagnosis. However, what I have written thus far is only validating his opinion. I had no idea when I started, that I would arrive here.
What does it take to make 2015 a year to remember for the fulfilments of many dreams? What does it take to be constantly on fire, consumed by a passion to meet my outcomes?
Knowing that I am a huge reservoir of possibilities with capacity to reinvent myself is a huge responsibility. That is a journey I have already embarked on.
So, as someone said, I plan with audacity. Because, audacious goals makes me stretch. Then I execute with vigor.
Running a marathon was an audacious goal. Without that I would have taken the after-effects of overeating and drinking in my stride as I used to for so long. Waking up early, keeping myself fit by moderated eating habits, exercising and avoiding drinking are things I have begun demanding of myself these days.
It feels very good to be in this state.
I become happier and more fulfilled as I embrace more audacious goals and execute them with vigor.