NLP Foundation Course Again

October 14, 2013 · 8 comments

in Training

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It has taken me a long time to come back to this blog. True, I am getting a little busier. Yet, if I count the hours I waste, it is an awful lot. It is also not because I do not have anything important to write about. If I discipline myself to write regularly, I can find content everywhere – in the books I read, from the racing thoughts in my head as I run in the mornings, and yes, even an innocuous word is enough matter for a long story. That is what I discovered again last weekend when I went to attend the NLP Foundation course, as an observer.isit them at a later time. Like J Krishnamurthi says, truth cannot be repeated.

My understanding is that, to derive maximum benefits out of NLP courses, one has to be willing to lie on the ‘couch’ in a figurative way and expect the mind’s innards to be dissected in full view of the other participants. It is a blessing that it is done affording the greatest of respect to the individuals concerned. Yes, on occasions, the message could be provocatively blunt too. Of course, one can also choose to stay confined in the background or continue wearing masks, but that only prolongs getting further steeped into the nothingness of life. Generally, the mindset of those who come for the workshop is one of openness and honesty.

I was the second person to introduce myself this time. I spoke about my expected ‘outcome’ and also about what I did for a living. It was very short and did not dwell on my passions. Ramesh’s reaction was that I was vague. On the defensive, I said I thought I was clear. One of the participants, Padma came to my defense and suggested that I might not have communicated clearly possibly because I might have been worried. That was again another invitation for Ramesh and he did not waste the opportunity. He said something about my posture or body language could be conveying a sense of anxiety. I was quick to repulse the suggestion by saying nonchalantly that I was not worried.

During NLP sessions, words fly this way and that way. It is very easy to miss some gems from some of those seemingly innocuous sentences spoken by the instructor or the participants. At times, each sentence we utter is like a move we make in a chess game. The instructor reads the pattern behind moves and interprets them. Those who have ears, listen and pay heed.

It took till the next day for me to realize that Ramesh’s remark about my ‘vague’ introduction carried a lot of  weight. It is true, there is some part of me that want to be in hiding. I reflected sadly that I do not come across as an authentic, happy, confident person, proving Ramesh’s inference only too right, about my body language. I have to work on these……..

What was beautiful about the two sessions I attended was that feedbacks are given very gently, devoid of accusatory tones, as mere suggestions and possibilities. There is also the constant refrain that no one can be and should be judged and we do not hold the right to evaluate the rightness or wrongness of people’s stories.

I found the people who attended this workshop an evolved lot. I must say that I often evaluate people on the basis of their looks. I discovered my inferences on the basis of my first impressions were pretty much off target. How many times have I told myself to get down from my high pedestal and truly become aware of and listen to the people in my immediate environment, so that I understand instead of hoping to be understood?

I am glad I am learning. The day before yesterday, I filled two bowls with the fruit trifle I had made and offered them to the two bachelors living in a tiny room on the terrace. It felt good to share the trifle with them. The idea has been forming within for a long time to reach out to them. There is immense beauty within every person and it is only in opening up and giving that I will discover my happiness.

This time in the NLP workshop, I came to admire Ramesh and his wife Tulsi’s strong love and commitment towards each other. It is evident in how they gaze at each other, in how they communicate and their courage to show the world their happiness in being together. To me, this aspect is the best testimony that Ramesh has to showcase his mastery over NLP.  He seems to be very much aware of the words he utters and the actions they lead him to. A trainer who does not walk his talk loses his disguise soon enough and once he is exposed, all the words of profound knowledge and wisdom in the world would not transform people.

The exercises designed to find out the predominant learning modes of people – whether auditory, visual or kinesthetic – was interesting. I am not sure whether the exercise captured my learning modes accurately. What I know is that I tend to be impacted a lot more by what I hear. The written word also transport me to a world of reflection and learning. I experience lasting learning when I write guided by outpourings from within. The challenge is to develop all these faculties by becoming intensely aware. 

Speaking about awareness, there is a world out there waiting to be explored about the ‘filters’ I tend to use in my dealings with others. I have got used to using coloured spectacles to view the world outside and people. Dwelling in the past or future as opposed to being in the present, associated / dissociated thinking, towards / away from states, procedure vs choice, internal reference opposed to external reference, big chunk and small chunk thinking are all filters I use at some time or the other. Being aware of the type of filters as I use them can help me take life enhancing decisions instead of being condemned to repeat actions out of mindless habits.

On Sunday Ramesh gave me the chance to make my presentation. I spoke about finding one’s purpose in life. I was not able to cover everything I wanted to. I was also uneasily conscious of the fact that I was being evaluated. At the end of the presentation, I invited ‘honest’ feedback. I got what I asked for and more. Shashi Kiran said, I looked too serious and my body language was pretty awful. Karthik’s opinion was that I did not engage his attention and he hardly remembered anything I said. Ramapriya pointed out the fact that I did not acknowledge people’s feedback with eager anticipation. I was also told that I should smile more and my body should be flexible.

Thulsi who spoke at length, commended me for a number of things. She said I began well, engaged the participants by asking questions and explained important points with interesting imageries. She too said I should have been more relaxed. Ramesh congratulated me for my guts.

Later during the programme, Sunny Mawlong – he is an awesome personality – whispered to me during one session in the afternoon that what matters is passion. And I will make it as a trainer because of that. The body language and everything else will follow. He went on to tell me about his experience from a shy person to being a sought after trainer.

Yet, at the end of it all, I felt downhearted and resembled a soda without any fizz. I remained that way for another two or three days. After that, I started feeling grateful for the experience. For knowing the ground I stand on. And for the challenge of new frontiers to travel towards.

Most often the best gifts in life come wrapped in mysterious packages. It takes time to unravel. With focus and grit I can, peel by peel, get to the heart of the gift.

All I need is to repose faith in the gift waiting for me. I know how I have to travel towards the gift awaiting me, as a trainer. I have to relax and let others listening to me, relax as well. I have to share my happiness with others and show it on my face with expanded lips. I must let my body communicate ideas and feelings more than my words. And I have to share, culling out gems from my life experiences and that of others, with conviction.

The process of doing these will be the gifts that await me. Every moment I invest on this journey I will be with my coveted gift.

Things don’t look so complicated now. Touche, Babu Vincent! You are now living in the realm of Internal Reference.

 

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Dr sunderam October 22, 2013 at 1:13 am

Dear babauji,

Glad to know you have started introspecting your self and ramesh is helping you. what you are doing is demonstration of one the basic presumptions of NLP training, “Feedback is the breakfast of champions”

One more tip would be the concept of process trainer, what is a Process trainer, is a training partner who can take the trainees along with them and continuously change his language to suit the trainee nonverbal and verbal messages in the ongoing session itself

i am in the field of training for the last 20 years, currently heading training division of Bhel

Dont leave ramesh . you can model his patterns

hope you will take in the postive sense
Dr sunderam

Reply

Babu Vincent October 22, 2013 at 3:32 am

Dr.Sunderam,
I am grateful to you for sharing your thoughts. Through your comment you have introduced me to another aspect of training which I intend to pursue further. Yes, there is a lot to learn from Ramesh – from the way he trains and lives his life.

Your salutation – ‘Babuji’ – made me feel very respectable and a little like an antique piece. You are welcome to call me Babu, I like that. Thanks again, very sincerely.

Reply

ASHOKAN October 26, 2013 at 2:31 am

Dear Babu,
I read your blog & was so amazed about your style of writing ! I felt great the way you analyse yourself.That has given me the direction of my thinking process ….. to work with myself first, in the day to day life ….to understand others…
Thank you for that !
Keep writing!!! My best wishes !!!
Ashokan.

Reply

Babu Vincent October 26, 2013 at 3:01 am

Thank you, Dr.Ashokan for your feedback from the heart. I am positive you will reach the destination of your dreams. Let’s keep in touch. Babu

Reply

T C GIRIVASAN October 28, 2013 at 5:55 am

Dear Mr.Babu

Your writing skills and articulation are amazing. Let this not be obscure.

You have an extraordinary skill in articulating your thoughts while penning it.

I am inspired by your post. As I see, you should continue writing more frequently and on varied subjects.

Your writing skills would make the subject matter more interesting.

Kudos. Keep rocking. Sky is the limit for you talent.

Please remember to make a mark there are two secrets 1. Consistency and 2. Perseverance.

Best Wishes.

Regards
T C GIRIVASAN

Reply

Babu Vincent October 28, 2013 at 6:14 am

Dear Girivasan,
Your feedback has created an impact on me already. This will inspire me to pursue my passion with consistency and perseverance as you suggested.
Thank you very much for sharing your feedback. I wish you all the best in your journey.
Warmest regards,
Babu

Reply

Ramesh Bashyam October 31, 2013 at 6:54 am

Babu Sir, you speak from your heart and that will touch anyone. I feel its a privilege to have been a part of this training batch.
Thanks for sharing and summarizing the program notes.

Reply

Babu Vincent October 31, 2013 at 7:09 am

Thanks Ramesh for caring to share your thoughts. I am sure you are traveling towards achieving your dreams. All the best.
Warm Regards,
Babu

Reply

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