NLP and Words that Make a Path on Which i Walk

Words as I speak or write them make a path on which I walk.
–Diane Glancy

I am back in Chennai, in my house, after attending the NLP course in Cherai. My daughter, Anusha, was at the door, to receive me. Lola Kutty, our pug too, was at the door, lazily shaking off the sleepy world she was in. I hate to refer to her as a dog or a pug, but do so to for the sake of those who do not know anything about her and our relationship.

While writing these words, a part of me is still in Cherai, reminiscing about 10 beautiful days. While leaving the house on 5^th February, to catch the train, I was questioning myself why I was going. After returning, my thoughts are all about clinging to the experience and wishing it did not end.

I learned a lot during the 10 days I was in Cherai. I do not ever want to forget these lessons.

I have the power to get out of the groove of familiar behavior patterns and create a new me when I choose to. I can fashion for myself the excellence in others by modeling their behavior and thought patterns.

Excellence comes floating in the wind. I have to be prepared to spot it and catch it from any quarters, whenever….. Every delegate had beautiful things to share and I have learned from all of them. At times, I was inattentive, and I lost it.

In the pyramid of (Neuro)Logical Levels of Change, on top of environmental factors come behavior, then capabilities, then beliefs & values, Identity next and at the top, Purpose . Changes at the top layers of the pyramid create enabling ripples in those below. Bottom up, such results are not always guaranteed.

Understanding others involves getting into their shoes. After that, it is pure magic with relationships. I learned it the humble way when I volunteered to be with Sue as she demonstrated the meaning of ‘Perceptual Positions’.

It is possible to change the interpretation I have given to my past…..and thus change my present.

I have the capacity to bring the future of my imagination into the present. I loved the demonstration relating to ‘timeline’, from where I picked this insight.

While communicating about things that matter to me, and I am responsible for, use ‘I’. That denotes I am the master of my life.

When leading and empowering others, keep ‘I’ in the background. Speak in terms of ‘you’. That denotes according the right priority.

Words are mere shells when empowering others. What matters is being the exemplar. I believed everything Sue said, because she is a great example of NLP at work.

Arguments and conflicts can serve as the starting block of new insights and deeper relationships. The few arguments we had late into the nights at ‘Miami’ created greater bonding among friends. And they augmented the learnings from the day’s sessions.

People from all over the world partake of the same festival of life. They all shed the same tears, laugh out loud in similar ways and aspire to soar high, exhibiting brilliance.  I saw tears from people from the UK and those from India and they all glistened with the same inner glory. And I heard their heartfelt laughter too. There is no ‘single story’ to any person or any culture.

The greater conflicts to resolve are those raging inside me. They will be overcome when I learn to treat myself with more respect and consideration.

There are immensely beautiful things about India and Indians that I should be gratefully mindful of.

I learned that experiences are great teachers. I was reluctant to go with the group to Kochi and to the orphanage in Aluva, and I am so glad I listened to Ramesh and went. Those experiences have embellished my life.

I can’t speak enough of Kutusan’s innate intelligence and flexibility during the early morning yoga lessons on the beach.

It is great to have ideas about strategic thinking and future threats to any business, but what is more important is to have a single minded focus, believing in the idea with passion. Anand taught me that during his presentation.

Pratima shared with me the value of working to a plan and ensuring the agenda for the day is completed before winding up. She reminded me more than once, I tend to view people from my map which really may not represent the territory.

Mike helped me see, an M.D’s job is to lead and not get immersed in routine jobs that can be delegated. He reminded me about being an exemplar. He also explained to me, while swimming in the sea with him, not to fight the sea, but to go with the flow…..After all, we are mostly made of the same element – water. And the sea is my ally.

I took from Lynn very important learning about taking goals that have an emotional connect.

Melanie shared her enthusiasm for life during her conversations with me. I am so glad that I partnered her during the traditional dinner on Friday.

Melanie’s sister, Malinee’s, suggestion to me was to be mindful of my body language.

Johny’s feedback to me was to replace ‘if’ with ‘when’. I will remember the lesson on ‘anchoring’ he demonstrated as a volunteer. He is a gutsy man.

I am in awe of Sharmila’s grace and determination. And her burning desire to make it big in life. I want her to achieve her desire to run long distances.

I learned from everyone of the delegates, but I will stop here.

Just before receiving the NLP Business Practitioner certificate, Sue spoke about my wisdom and humility and ability to absorb. It felt very good hearing this from her. I see in her the wise, ultimate teacher of my imagination.

Ramesh told me that I celebrated my being-ness in a big way, during the course. I am very much indebted to him for what he is doing to me.

There is so much of dignity and poise in Colin. He does a lot of things in the background, away from the arc lights. I love this man for his heart – though he might think otherwise.

Tulsi showed me what it means to love without preconditions.

And Arul was a great inspiration and he will continue to remain one. I am so fortunate to have met him. I want to continue my journey modeling the excellence in him.

Lola Kutty is the one from whom I learned the rudiments of NLP even before I started delving into it last year. I have learned to understand her and her signs – when she wants water from the cup of my hands, when she is hungry or when she wants to go out for a walk. Despite her advancing years and slow movements, she shows up in the way she knows is authentic – licking my face, following me wherever, retiring into a corner when I go to office – or, waiting for me wagging her short curled up tail, shaking her body in excitement when I return.  She responds to me best when my language to her is clean, not mired in commands. Between us, there are no hangups.

Lola reminds me every moment I am with her that I have it within me to nurture relationships by understanding the people in my world with heart, without judging. All that I need is to watch with attention. I have to be all this with Anusha my daughter, first.

There is so much more that I learnt during the 10 days at Cherai. I listed a few of them in my previous post ‘The First Two Days at NLP Practitioner with Sue Knight’. I will delve deep into Beliefs of Excellence, and other powerful insights that touched me,during the days ahead, to make them mine.

Above all, I will remember, Words as I speak or write them make a path on which I walk. I will speak and write my way to a life of congruence and excellence.

Carpe diem – seize the day, Baabu (I mean Babu).